And in the potato weight class

And in the potato weight class…

… There are no other challengers in the weight class.

Toothpaste

I’ve just never understood that brand.

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Money

Lately, when trying to be fiscally responsible, I’ve tried to imagine what our forefathers would say about my spending habits.

It hasn’t really been working.

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Pets

I guess the reason why I hate dogs — other than appearance, smell, texture, behavior, and barking — is their density. Every time I touch one it feels like its particles are so packed there’s no room for my hands. For reference, cats are the opposite: approximately the density of noodles. As pets should be.

Dogs: too dense. Cats: just right.

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